If I wasn't a college football fan before today, I am now. I would like to introduce you to the next face of quarterbacks. No, I'm not talking about Arch Manning, who is probably on his way to Texas. I'm talking about Arch's future rival, General Booty. Yes, that is his actual name. General Freaking Booty.
"How could you have a one-night stand with a guy named General Booty?" my fiancee says as I type this, "Like, just imagine telling your parents you slept with General Booty?" Well, honey, I think you're onto something because this dude will be the dude of dudes. Men across the nation will worship General Booty. The University of Oklahoma has got another thing coming. Spencer Rattler and Baker Mayfield were characters in their own right, but General Booty, I have a feeling, is going to completely take that campus by storm. Let's meet General Booty. Booty played for four different High Schools. Two in The Golden State, California, and two in the Lone Star State, Texas. He did not have many offers as he graduated and decided to take the JUCO route and commit to Tyler Junior College in Tyler, Texas. Booty played for the Apaches for one year where he ranked #1 in completions, attempts, and yards. Other notable stats he performed well in were touchdowns (4th) and yards per game (2nd). Needless to say, Booty will for sure be an assett to the Sooners. I'm so freaking ready for General Booty. These next three years (lord willing he stays) are going to be one for the books. General Booty. Heisman. I'm manifesting it now.
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AuthorDawson Haywood Archives
December 2024
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