A Little Insight...
Going into college at eighteen years old I had no clue that I was going to meet the love of my life. They always tell you in high school to never date a senior when you are a freshman because you are inexperienced with love, they are in different parts of their life than you, etc. Well take it from me, be cautious about it but if you find someone you are interested in, here is your sign to go for it.
When I was eighteen we were at pretty much the height of COVID and I moved five hours away from my parents to go to college. It was a struggle to make friends because we didn’t have in-person orientation or classes. We weren’t allowed to really hang out anywhere because of social distancing. But somehow, through all of that, I met my fiance.
Neither one of us was looking for a relationship as I had just barely dodged a creepy stalker dude who had “fallen in love” with me after knowing him for two days, and my fiance had just gotten out of a relationship with a crazy, psycho gold digger. I was leaving to go to Oklahoma for my sister’s wedding in two days and we both thought we could get a couple of fun dates in and then ghost each other.
Well we went on those dates and then I left for Oklahoma and we kept talking…and talking…and talking and just never stopped. I was gone for almost two weeks and when I got back he immediately came over and it was like I had never left. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again…I am pretty sure I fell in love with him while I was away. Mainly because there was no pressure for anything to happen and we simply just talked. Both of us had the option of ghosting each other with no repercussions (except meeting in the hallway of our dorm would’ve been awkward). We weren’t looking to start a relationship but somehow the big goof made me fall in love with him.
Looking back we were both psycho (he told me he wanted to marry me after two days of knowing me and I fell in love with him within a week of knowing him). And I am positive both of our families thought that we were crazy and I know for a fact people thought that I was just his rebound. But love prevailed.
As soon as I got back from my sister’s wedding I realized that I had caught a sinus infection and got really sick and though he hadn’t known me for long he stayed with me every night in order to make sure that I was okay. (And if you know me, you know that colds or anything respiratory knocks me on my butt) He took me home a few weeks later to his parents where we spent our first Halloween together which is when he told me he loved me. We moved quickly, I know.
We spent that whole fall and the next spring together and had plans to move in together when after he graduated. This is where things get a little rocky but bear with me. We were both pretty toxic back then and didn’t know exactly how to communicate with each other. He had doubts and fears about moving in with me and ended up backing out. This made me so angry that I broke up with him (for maybe three hours) but I realized that I truly love this man and that I wanted to fight for this relationship. That should mean a lot to both of our families because I have NEVER fought for a man before. I used to make up excuses just to let them go, but not this time. We spent the entire summer of 2021 fighting and arguing with each other every single time we saw each other. Eventually, we both came to a mutual agreement that he would move back up to live with me when he felt he was ready. That happened about a month after I moved into my apartment. We still had our issues don’t get me wrong but we decided that our problems wouldn’t tear us apart because we loved each other too much.
He proposed to me in December of 2021 and now we are planning our wedding and living the best life we could possibly ask for. We just moved into our apartment, our dog is 1 ½ years old, and is our happiness, we have the most beautiful niece ever, and we have never been happier.
I guess the point I am trying to make is to tell people that are my age to not count themselves out for love but to not expect it to be easy, because it’s not by any means. Luckily I have amazing women in my life such as my mom, sister, best friend, and Mimi to help guide me along the way and listen to me rant about my fiance. One of the biggest life lessons I think both me and my fiance have learned is that it is okay to fight and argue, heck it’s NORMAL. We are completely different people and we are not going to agree 100% of the time and that’s okay.
I also like sharing with people the struggles we have gone through to get to this place of absolute bliss because other people are struggling too. Most people only share the good, but I want to share the good, bad, and the ugly so that those who are going through what I was a few months ago can understand that IT IS OKAY TO ARGUE. Nobody is perfect and if you expect perfection you might drive your significant other away.
7/30/2022 10:20:07 pm
Love the info but it's all about you two and your love for each other and what it means to both of you. What's the saying it's about the long hall the ups and downs. I pray it's always great and last forever love. You both my blessings.
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Sydney Brooke Haywood